If You Want to ...

I was listening to Matthew 5-8 on my way to work today and many things jumped out at me but one thing has caused me to really think. Matthew 8:2 3 where Jesus heals the leper. "A man with leprosy came and knelt before him and said, “Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.” Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. “I am willing,” he said. “Be clean!” Immediately he was cleansed of his leprosy." I have focused on the part where Jesus touched him because to touch a leper was not something anyone would do. What I missed was "if you are willing". The Message says "if you want to". The leper believed that Jesus had the power to heal him but he did not think he was good enough. Look at those words again "if you want to". Because he thought I am a filthy sinner and that is the reason I got this disease so Jesus may not want to heal me. Perhaps he will turn away just like everyone else.

My thoughts immediately went to me. How do I approach Jesus? Do I believe that Jesus has the power but may not have the "want to"? Yep, all the time. I see myself as the filthy sinner too. Why would he heal me? I am deserve my hurt, my habit, my hangup. Of course when you examine that feeling it is all based in a lie. How many scriptures tell us a different story. There is a book I have read about three times and he lists in the book (Conformed To His Image by Kenneth Boa) 45 (if I counted right) scriptures who tell us who we are in Christ. The first three in the list alone tell us: "I am a child of God (John 1:12), I am a branch of the true vine and a conduit of Christ's life (John 15:1,5) and I am a friend of Jesus (John 15:15)". Just those tell us a lot about our worth. 

So, why do I struggle to accept those things? I would say it is because I feel like I do not deserve it. Well, that feels right but it is not true. Jesus gave up heaven for me. If I did not deserve it why did He come? He came because He wants me to know how much he loves me and no matter how I feel He cares. 

Though step studies I have begun to accept my identity in Christ but I still want to listen to those old voices at times and slip back into the "I'm not good enough" self-pity party. When I do I am thankful I have those that remind me that I am good enough and I need to get out of myself and think of others. 

Perhaps you are caught in that pit of self-pity and you are having a big pity party. Well, come to Celebrate Recovery Friday night and find out how to get out of that trap. Start your journey at 6 PM with dinner and stay to the lights go out. I will guarantee that you will leave feeling loved and accepted. See you Friday!

David

Routine

Do you have routines? I do. What happens when something interferes with our routines? For me I begin to forget things. I don't keep the good habits I have developed. I miss appointments and the list just goes on and on. 

Being in recovery is about developing good habits. Habits like Bible study, prayer, writing in a journal (still developing that one), doing a daily inventory, etc. So, when our routine time is disrupted it is very difficult to find another time that day to do whatever it was we missed. Vacation, being sick and things like that tend to take us away from the routine. Of course sometimes you can use a vacation to get back into a good habit or to spend extra time with God. Unfortunately my vacations don't always go as planned. How about yours? 

Well, I said all that now what is the point of all this? Just this, whenever your routine is disrupted don't let it cause you to lose the good habits you have developed. Maybe you may have to get up a little earlier or stay up a little later to do that Bible study or prayer but in the end it is worth it. It helps us keep our sanity and sobriety. See you Friday (another good habit)!

David

Beginner

Well, I have never tried to do anything like this before but they say the best way to grow is just to get out of your comfort zone. I do know a lot about that. Since being in Celebrate Recovery I have been pushed and dragged out of my comfort zone many times. The first push was to jump into my second step study as a leader. I barely knew what I was doing but my sponsor kept saying it would all be okay. You know it was. I was scared but no one knew how scared except me. Actually now that I think about that may not have been the first time I was out my comfort zone it was just one of the big ones. First was being asked to do something in large group. The reason that was so hard was I was still in denial. So, my introduction was very scary because I did not have anything I struggled with except maybe some people pleasing. So what was I to say after I am a grateful believer? Uuuh, uuuh, that could be embarrassing. Of course there were many others  being a sponsor for the first, teaching a lesson, being a part of T.E.A.M. The list could go on and on. 

But the bottom line is it is all worth it. I would do it all again because now I have a family of believers that know who I am and they still love me and accept me. When you take off the mask you find out that there are a lot of people just like you. What a relief! So, I say all that to say this GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE!  It really is worth it. Come that first night meet all of us who are just like you then come at least four more times and you will not want to leave. 

Well, I guess that concludes my first blog. That wasn't too bad. Maybe I can do this. 

Inside

It was a cold 37 degrees this morning on my way into work. The cab of my truck reserved the sharp, crisp cold air - it’s only disturbance was my breath erupting a slightly warm fog into its presence. The sun, rising on my left into a sea of blended golden colors, was peaking over the horizon and slicing through the shadows of various trees and buildings like a strobe light onto the road before me. I intentionally repositioned myself in my seat, seeking and inviting a blaze, a burst of His light to pierce my eyes. Oh, to catch a glimpse…. With the consistent glint in my eyes I could also feel His warm, brilliant light rubbing my exposed hands, my cheeks and neck.

My mind, convicted by Oceans over the radio, begins to imagine my brother Peter on a morning such as this, taking that first step. A step out of the hull of the boat, over the gunwale to join our oldest brother standing firm on the crown of vast waves. It’s all coming together now, my ears yearning to join my other senses quickly attune into His presence through the joyful sound softly spoken over the broadcast, carving its way through the dense coldness of the truck’s cabin;

“Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the waters wherever You would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior. I will call upon Your Name. Keep my eyes above the waves. My soul will rest in Your embrace…I am Yours and You are mine.”

Awe, there! There He is! Not around me. Not outside the vehicle, not sitting in the seat next to me but there…right there!  He is inside my very self. He lives! Jesus lives in me! And He lives in you. Make no mistake about it!  Jesus has risen, He has risen in me AND He has risen in you!  

One day, standing next to my brother Peter I will ask, “What was it like to stand with Jesus on the water?” Whatever his answer will be, Peter may just follow it with his own question; “What was it like to have Jesus living inside you?”

References

Matthew 14:24 -32

Hillsong UNITED; Oceans

Restoration

Our minds are like old cars-driven on the old Oklahoma pothole filled roads, taking the bumps as we go along. Dented and dinged by life passing us by. Aging and rusting by the storms of the seasons-for some, twisted and broken by ravishing Oklahoma winds and hail. 

Romans 12:2 (NIV)
"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."

But comes along a maker, a restorer of life. One that can make all things new. He will take away the rusty hurt and the dented scares. He will replace the broken finders and bumpers with His patience, love and care. He will replace the shattered windows with clear translucent glass allowing a glowing appearance of life to be seen. Yes, he is a restorer of life and He's been there all along, just waiting for you to be ready to restore. 

Revelation 21:5 (ESV)
"And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”